I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
