So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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