i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
