Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
