Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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