Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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