Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
