i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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