Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
