my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
