Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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