Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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