Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize