I accidentally burped into my bong.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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