come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
