Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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