I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
