we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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