there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
