I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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