So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
