Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
