No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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