Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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