He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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