Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
