I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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