Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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