Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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