I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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