im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
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I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
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Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize