im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
