Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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