Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
