Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
