nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
