come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
