the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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