youre lurking in front of me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
