It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I will pee on everything he values.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
