i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
