The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
