i think my mom watched the whole time
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
