She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
