Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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