Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
