So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
