I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
