so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
