so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize