I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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