me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
