That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
