you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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