first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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