roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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